contemporary romance ebook

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Excerpt

“Full circle,” Alex mumbled to herself before walking on unsteady legs to the metal door of the club.

The bouncer smiled at her approvingly while she paid the cover charge. She ignored him and slipped into the club.

It seemed wrong somehow.

She wasn’t hit by the loud, thumping music that she’d remembered, and there was a distinct absence of the thick clouds of smoke that had always left her smelling like an ashtray.

Moving deeper into the room, she weaved through the few people that were milling around at the bar and headed towards the dance floor. In place of the throng of dancers that she’d always been a part of, were small tables with couples seated around them. The candles adorning the tables offered a warm light that made everything seemed so romantic that it felt like a poignant reminder of what she’d lost, and why she was here.

Her feet froze when her eyes were arrested by him. The soft spotlights made his golden skin glow and his gentle voice even more touching as he sang the last few lines of the song he was playing on the grand piano.

She leaned back against the column behind her that supported the balcony and sighed. He’d always wanted to be a singer. He’d asked her to wait for him to be ready to leave too and that they could go to Los Angeles together, but she’d left without him.

Her eyes closed in order to stop the tears as they threatened to well up again. How could she have been so stupid? All he’d asked her for was a few more months, to delay her plans just a short while, but she’d been so stubborn, and the more he’d pressed her the more she’d wanted to leave right then. He’d promised to protect her, but a part of her hadn’t believed he would be able to and she’d left him behind.

The crowd applauding caused her to come out of her thoughts and she watched him stand. He smiled and told them he would be back later to round off the night with a song. Her eyes followed him. He moved off the stage and walked to the bar, opening the small waist height door and slipping through it. She watched him for a few moments and built up the courage to go over. Now she wished she’d gone to the bar while he was still playing. If she’d done that she could have had a quick shot of something to calm her nerves and she would have already been there when he’d headed in that direction.

Swallowing her nerves, she wished her stomach would settle down. She pressed her hand against it, willing the butterflies to stop dancing around so violently. They made her whole body tremble. Lowering her eyes to the floor, she moved hurriedly across the room and sat down on the stool at the end of the bar where he was talking to one of the bartenders.

She kept her eyes fixed on the wooden surface in front of her while she listened to him chuckling at something the man had said and bit her lip to stifle her tears. Being in the club and hearing such a familiar happy sound brought back such sweet memories that they felt like bitter poison to her because there was no way she could recapture those times now.

Raising her head, she took a deep breath and tapped her fingers on the bar. After five minutes of waiting for him to notice her and watching him serving other girls, she felt as though her heart was splitting in two. She was about to leave when she found his attention finally on her and she put on her best smile.

Her eyes met his. Anticipation danced in her stomach and made her heart flutter.

“What can I get you?” The words seemed to take forever to register in her brain and her heart sank when she realised he didn’t recognise her.

Unable to form a reply, she struggled with her emotions and just shook her head sombrely. Out of all the people in the town, she’d truly believed he would be the one to recognise her. It was a crushing blow to discover the man who was once so close to her, now didn’t know her at all.

She laughed bitterly at herself and ignored the way he cocked his head to one side in intrigue.

“Fame and fortune really doesn’t bring you everything,” she muttered to herself and blinked away the tears so he wouldn’t see them.

He leaned against the bar, so close to her that she could smell his familiar aftershave. The scent of it brought fresh tears to her eyes. She remembered how she used to love laying in his arms just breathing him in.

“You famous then?” he said with a frown that belied his curiosity. She must have looked a little stunned because he seemed to suddenly feel the need to explain himself. “I don’t get out of town much, don’t read the girl mags…a little busy to be following people I don’t know.”

She felt that one in her stomach, a low blow that had her reeling and questions forming in her head. Had he never followed her career?

She couldn’t find the strength to laugh if off this time. Her mouth formed silent words that she desperately tried to put a voice behind.

“You knew me once,” she said so quietly that he leaned nearer her in an attempt to hear what she was saying.

“I did?” He looked confused.

She met his eyes briefly before dropping them back to the damp surface of the bar. Breathing in deeply, she avoided his questioning gaze and found the strength to carry on.

“Better than anyone…still know me better than anyone.” She didn’t know why she was continuing now that he’d flatly denied knowing her. A part of her wanted him to say he did, even if he didn’t know her now. She wanted to hear from him that he really had been the only one who had known her back then.

“You’ll have to refresh my memory. I’ve known a lot of people.” His melodic tones cut into her thoughts and it felt as though his words had cleaved her heart in two.

She let her hair fall forwards so it hid her face and couldn’t stop the tears from spilling onto her cheeks. Bringing her hand up, she tried to wipe them away in a manner that wouldn’t draw attention to what she was doing. Of course he wouldn’t remember her, he had a new life now just like she did, but it cut to the core to hear him actually say the words, because she remembered him like it was only yesterday when she’d last seen him.

Laughing to cover how hurt she was by his words, she raised her eyes to meet his again and smiled.

“We were high school sweethearts…but then I threw it all away on some pipe dream.” The last part came out bitterly. His eyebrows knit into a frown and she swore she’d seen concern flash for a moment in his grey eyes before he smiled knowingly.

“Did you attain your dreams?” he said and leaned against the bar on his elbows. She stared at his arms. The sleeves of his crisp white shirt were rolled up past his elbows so they didn’t get wet from the counter. He still had the same strong hands she could remember. She nodded slightly. “Then you didn’t throw it away, right?”

“I did…” Her tone was grave and she looked at him seriously. “I threw it away.”

He seemed pleased by her answer and pushed himself up into a standing position again. Her head tilted back to allow her eyes to remain fixed on his.

“Actually, I do remember you.” His face became a mask of deadly seriousness. She could feel the words coming, could see them in his eyes. He’d been waiting for this moment, had chosen the point where she’d been at her weakest to tell her. “Only one girl has ever broken my heart and I vowed it would never happen again.”

No matter how hard she tried not to let his words appear to affect her, a stunned look settled on her face. She tried to tear her eyes away from his but found she couldn’t. The resolute look he wore told her everything she needed to know. He hated her. She couldn’t blame him after what she’d done to him. She’d broken his heart and her own one in the process.

“I’m probably disturbing you. I’ll let you get on.” Her chest ached and her head span. She pushed against the bar with her hands, holding onto it to steady herself as she stood.

Her whole body shook when his hand wrapped about her wrist and stopped her from moving. She wanted to collapse under the weight of emotions that were flooding her already tired body. Her knees felt so weak that she knew without a doubt that if she took one step she’d fall.

She feebly attempted to get her hand free of his grasp. Tears blurred her vision and she felt as though she was going to be sick. She had to run away, had to leave. She couldn’t do this. She wasn’t strong enough to face her feelings, had always been one to keep them locked inside. She was stupid for thinking she could talk to him after everything she’d done. She didn’t really want to clear her conscience.

She still wanted her fairytale ending, still dreamed of him holding his arms out to her and welcoming her home.

She didn’t offer much resistance when he leaned over the bar and caught hold of her trembling shoulders, moving her back to the stool and forcing her to sit down. He spoke words to her she didn’t hear and after a while she realised he was saying the same thing repeatedly.

He was frowning at her but she could see in his eyes he wasn’t angry. There was only concern showing in them.

“You’re not disturbing me. I’ve always got time for an old friend.” His words finally broke through to her and she offered him a shaky smile.

“You’re a better person than me then.” Her tone was derisive and she looked down at her hands, willing them to keep still.

He paused for a moment and then said, “I am.”

Her head shot up and she felt new hurt lance through her when she met his eyes and saw all the concern they had held for her had vanished, leaving only coldness behind.

“I think you could use a drink.” He turned away from her and she watched his back as he moved past the people serving drinks to the other end of the bar.

When he returned, she was staring at her hands again trying to figure out what she was meant to say next. They had established that he was angry with her, even if he wasn’t showing it, and that he resented what she’d done all those years ago almost as much as she now resented it. Her eyes widened when his hand appeared in view, his long fingers pushing a small shot glass of golden liquid towards her and quickly following it with a small plate of limes and salt.

Raising her head, she found his gaze instantly locking with hers and she gave him a small smile of gratitude for showing her that he remembered at least something about her and their time together. She turned her smile down at the shot of tequila and played back the memory of him teaching her how to drink it, in this very bar.

It had been a night she’d never forget in all her life.

It had been the night he’d told her for the first time that he loved her.

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