Chapter 13
Scarlet kept her eyes forward and wondered how long tonight’s inspection was going to take. She wanted nothing more than to be on the wall and alone with her thoughts. Since two weeks ago and Captain Daliel’s attempt to make a move on her, she’d been thinking even more about Corazon and that kiss. It had felt like the end of everything, and even though her heart told her time and time again that it was the start of something, she couldn’t shake the terrible cold feeling dwelling inside her.
She was worried about him.
Troy hadn’t said a word about Corazon over the past week, so she presumed there couldn’t have been any news from him. It was strange considering that twelfth and thirteenth company had received news from their captain.
Today another messenger had arrived. Captain Daliel had called Troy to his quarters.
That panicked her more than anything.
She closed her eyes briefly and drew a deep breath.
Captain Daliel was walking back along the line towards her company. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and a frown flickered on her brow when she saw the grim expression on his face. It was mixed with something in his eyes, something like amusement.
He stopped dead in front of her and turned to face the company. She felt as though he was facing only her, as though he was singling her out for some reason.
“I have received word from second garrison and General Violet,” he said in a slow, steady drawl.
Scarlet struggled to keep her expression emotionless.
General Violet?
Why wasn’t Corazon the one writing them?
Captain Daliel’s pause felt as though it was lasting for eternity and she felt strangely tight inside, sick to her stomach, and she couldn’t fathom why. What was setting her off? Was it Daliel’s tone of voice or the cold but amused look in his eyes? She had never seen him look like this. So heartless.
He was staring straight at her, studying her with an intense gaze that made her skin crawl and made her heart whisper dreadful words to her.
“Captain Corazon is missing, presumed dead.”
Her heart clenched. It hadn’t said those words.
He had.
She stared at Captain Daliel with wide eyes quickly filling with tears. His mouth moved but she no longer heard what he said. Everything went blank, replaced by a harsh ringing in her ears.
Dead?
Her world trembled and shook to the foundations. Her knees weakened. Her whole body began to shake.
Dead?
Her gaze fell to the floor in front of Daliel’s feet. His boots became Corazon’s boots. And all she could see was him, in that moment on the wall, kissing her and telling her without words that he loved her. And all she could feel was that terrible feeling she’d had then.
She would never see him again.
Unable to bear the thought of standing here and losing control in front of all the prying eyes that she could feel watching her, she shoved past Daliel and ran towards her quarters.
She changed her path the moment she caught sight of Corazon’s quarters out of the corner of her eye and headed for them instead. She pushed the door open and slammed it behind her.
Breathing hard and struggling to contain her tears, she stared around her at the small room. Her eyes drifted over his desk and then his winter cape where it was hanging on the wall, and then to his bed. She remembered every moment they had shared here. She remembered the feel of his skin beneath her fingers and how it had felt to have him touch her, and have his teeth in her.
Moving away from the door, she walked on shaking limbs towards his cape. She trembled as she took it down from the hook and closed her eyes as she held it against her and breathed in the lingering scent of him. She tried to walk to his bed, but her knees buckled before she could reach it and she collapsed to the floor. She clung to his cape as though it was him she was holding, and sobbed against it.
The door creaked open and she closed her eyes, still holding his cape and no longer caring what happened to her.
He was gone.
This pain inside her, eating her up from the inside out, was too much to bear. She wanted to die. She wanted to ask whoever was now standing over her in silence to kill her so she could be with Corazon again.
It was her heart’s only wish.
The person moved and a tiny fear flickered at the back of her mind. It said that it was Daliel, come to take her completely from Corazon now that her captain could no longer stand in his way.
Scarlet slowly raised her head, her vision too blurred with tears for her to see the person properly. It was a man. She could tell that from his shape. And it was an officer, because he was wearing a smart uniform.
She blinked.
Her heart lifted.
It was Troy.
He was looking at her with so much compassion that she felt compelled to try to speak. He shook his head when she opened her mouth and got down on one knee beside her.
“He’d hate to see you this way,” he whispered.
The idea of Corazon looking down on her and seeing her so upset made more tears fill her eyes. They slipped down her cheeks, falling onto his cape as she held it close.
Troy held his hand out to her and she stared at it.
“Come Scarlet,” he said in a gentle tone. “Be strong for him. It is not yet proven that he is dead. Do not give in so easily.”
She raised her eyes to his.
“Not yet proven?” she said in a trembling voice.
He shook his head. “I checked the letter. General Violet wrote that Corazon left the second garrison four days ago but they received no word from the fifth garrison to say he’d stopped there. It might just be that he wanted to ride straight here but was caught out by the sun and had to hide somewhere. The humans may have found him. They wouldn’t kill a commanding officer. They would take him hostage.”
His words were little comfort to her.
When humans took one of her kind hostage, it was for one reason alone—to torture them for information. That torture always ended in death. Corazon couldn’t escape that fate. Or could he? She had seen how powerful he was. Was there a chance that he would escape?
Her heart wouldn’t dare believe that.
It told her that he was gone, that her life was over, and that the only thing she could do now was die and be with him in the afterlife.
There was a rustle of paper and she frowned at Troy.
“Why are you here?” she whispered, too hoarse from crying to speak any louder.
He looked right into her eyes and they told her everything of his surprise at her words.
“You’ve never liked me... but you’ve saved me from Captain Daliel, and now you’re here trying to comfort me when everyone else is probably talking about me behind my back. I should think you’d rather be out there with them.”
Troy stood and looked down at her, his gaze reproaching her.
She couldn’t look away, even when she felt terrible inside for what she had said. He had only been trying to comfort her, to calm her down.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I don’t know what I’m saying anymore.”
It was wrong of her to speak to him like that. Not only because he was her commanding officer now, but because he had been the only one to come to see if she was all right. Milton and Aradne hadn’t come. Not even Captain Daliel, who was probably gloating over this, seeing it as some kind of victory for him. Troy had explained the tension between Corazon and Daliel. She thought Daliel was insane for hating the man who’d saved his life.
Troy’s look softened and he held a letter out to her.
“That fool Daliel wasn’t the only one who noticed that Captain Corazon had feelings for you, and you for him.”
Her stomach dropped.
So did her jaw.
“How long have you known?”
Troy sighed and then frowned as though calculating something.
“Five months,” he said. “Since the night you made lance corporal and I saw him carrying you to the infirmary.”
“Oh,” Scarlet said, unsure of what else she could possibly say. Troy had known of Corazon’s feelings long before she had even had a suspicion that he liked her.
“When he kissed you before leaving, it was all the confirmation I needed. Unfortunately, it was all the confirmation Daliel needed too.” He paused and placed the letter on her lap. “We had been walking on the South Wall, discussing duty rosters and other business. We both saw Captain Corazon kiss you.”
She stared at the letter. It was addressed to Captain Daliel.
“Read it,” Troy said. “Know that if Captain Corazon died, it was for a noble cause. He died trying to protect you.”
She paused halfway through opening the letter and stared at it. Corazon had died trying to protect her?
Troy sat down on the bed and removed his helmet, brushing sandy hair from his rough face and sighing. He looked as drained as she felt. She realised that Corazon’s death wouldn’t only hurt her. Troy had been under his command for years, longer than she had been alive in human and vampire years. The death of Corazon would affect him greatly too.
Troy’s fists clenched and shook.
She opened the letter.
It was from General Violet. She scanned the first part because it was exactly as Troy had said it. Captain Corazon had left the fort and there had been no report of his arrival at fifth garrison or his own.
She paused when her name was mentioned and scanned back to the start of the paragraph.
Captain Corazon left second garrison during the night four days ago after a private conversation with me. I advised him that it would be suicide to head out alone, but he went regardless. His actions were motivated by his feelings for Corporal Scarlet of his company, whom he believed to be in danger from Captain Daliel of the twenty-first company. Desiring to protect Corporal Scarlet, he left immediately and without a guard, paying no heed to the danger he would place himself in. His actions were noble and gallant to the very last.
To Corporal Scarlet I say only this, that I have known Captain Corazon since he was newly turned, and I have never seen him love anyone so much. I only hope this can be a comfort to you during this difficult time, and know that if you need anything, your commanding officer and myself will be here.
To Captain Daliel, I say this. Your actions as reported to me by First Lieutenant Troy warrant an investigation. I am en route to second garrison now. Expect my arrival shortly after this letter.
Scarlet stared at the piece of paper, the words swimming in front of her eyes. General Violet believed that Corazon was dead. She’d said it would be suicide to leave the fort alone and ride out. Everyone thought he was dead, so how could she hold onto hope and believe he was alive somewhere.
She stood slowly and walked quietly over to Troy where he sat on the bed. His head was hung forwards, his focus on his hands as he clasped them in front of him. She sat beside him, still clinging to Corazon’s cape and the letter.
Troy looked at her, turning his head a fraction. She could see the tears in his blue eyes. He looked so different. Gone was his strength and resolve. The hardness in his face that she’d always seen had melted away to reveal the youthful appearance he truly had. He looked no older than she did in human years. His sandy hair had swept forwards, covering his forehead.
She glanced at his neck and the marks there. His sire’s marks she presumed. She wore some too, but she had never known who her sire was. Her eyes widened and she frowned as she began to stare at the marks on his throat.
Her hand lifted, turning to reveal her wrist and the marks there.
There was a greater reason for Troy to be upset by Corazon’s death, far greater than she had imagined.
“He was your sire,” she whispered.
He nodded and a tear slid down the length of his nose. He wiped it away. She didn’t know what to do or say. She wanted to hold him, to tell him that Corazon was alive, but all her hope had left her, leaving nothing but bitter despair behind.
“What do we do now?” she said in a broken voice.
Troy looked at her and she was surprised when he placed his arm around her shoulders. She sniffed back her tears and wiped her cheeks, still holding Corazon’s cape.
“I won’t let anything happen to you, Scarlet,” Troy whispered with so much feeling that new tears came and threatened to spill onto her cheeks. She stared blankly at his knees and slumped against him, surrendering to the feeling of weakness inside of her. She sighed and furrowed her brows as her tears fell. “I will protect you in his stead. As his only child, it’s my duty to do so... and it’s what he would’ve wanted.”
Scarlet closed her eyes and turned her head, no longer caring that it was Troy who was holding her close and soothing her pain. He wasn’t the enemy anymore. The whole world had taken that place. She didn’t want to go on alone. She buried her head against Troy’s neck and let the tears come until she was crying so hard she couldn’t breathe. His hand tightened against her shoulder and she drew all the comfort she could from it.
The wind picked up outside, whistling through the gaps between the buildings and coming in under the door. She slowly ran out of tears and when she was done, her heart felt heavier than it had ever done. She didn’t know what to say to Troy, how to thank him for his comfort or talk about what happened to the company now. She felt awkward, sitting here in his arms, in the arms of a man she had always thought hated her.
Now she knew different.
No man would offer to protect her in another’s stead unless he had some trace of feelings for her.
It was probably nothing more than friendship he felt, but she feared it would be more.
No one could replace Corazon in her heart.
No one.
She pushed herself up, giving Troy an embarrassed smile as she searched his eyes for any sign that his feelings towards her were anything more than camaraderie.
“What do we do?” she whispered to her knees. It still hadn’t really sunk in that Corazon was gone. She couldn’t imagine her life without him. The world was still turning. Life was still going on. How could it go on without Corazon?
“We continue on... we pay our respect by honouring his memory and we continue to live.” Troy’s words made her chest tight with emotion, but no more tears would come. She had none left in her.
“I don’t think I can,” she said as her eyes dropped to his chest.
His gloved hand touched her chin and she looked up at him through her lashes.
“You must,” he said. “Corazon loved you, of that I’m certain, and he wanted nothing more than to protect you. You cannot surrender the fight now. He died for you, Scarlet. Do not dishonour that death by giving up on life.”
Scarlet cursed him and his words for making her feel wretched inside. She felt horrible for ever considering ending her life so she could be with Corazon. Troy was right. Corazon had given his life trying to protect her. He had been coming back to keep her safe from Daliel, she was sure of it. She couldn’t wish for death to take her when Corazon had done so much to keep her alive and safe.
Corazon loved her.
Everyone seemed to keep saying that now, but why hadn’t he said it himself?
Why did she have to live knowing that she would never see his face again and she would never feel his touch? She would never have those lips against hers. She would never know what it was like to truly be with a man and to be loved by him.
“I must report for duty,” Troy said, placing his hand on her shoulder. “Will you be all right here?”
She wondered why he wasn’t telling her to report too. It was her night to man the walls.
“I’ll be fine... thank you.” She held his gaze when he stood and smiled at her.
All sign of his earlier upset was gone from his eyes. On the surface, they were cold again, but now she could see the fire in their blue depths and read his true feelings. He was still hurting over the loss of Corazon.
She watched him go and then stared blankly at the floor, trying to piece herself back together. She looked at the note she was holding, clutching it so tight in her hand that her knuckles were white and the paper was scrunched up.
Corazon had loved her.
She swallowed hard and buried her face into his cape, clinging to it.
Corazon was gone.
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