Chapter 9
Scarlet tugged her cape closed around her, trying to shut out the prying fingers of the harsh freezing wind. It found a new way in, blowing down around her ankles and gusting up from below. It tousled her hair, making it dance around, and she fought a battle with it, clawing the strands out of her face so she could see.
The night was dark and promised snow. She couldn’t see a single star through the thick blanket of clouds. Corazon had told her that he wouldn’t risk using fire to illuminate the darkness, and that he could easily find the way back to the fort. She trusted him on that front. He knew this area well and had always proven himself to be a good tracker.
There was a front she didn’t trust him on though, no matter how much she wanted to and told herself that she did. Since seeing him lose control, she had been wary of him, worried that it would happen again and that something would snap in him when it did. If he couldn’t remember what had happened during those episodes, how could he know for sure that he wouldn’t attack her?
Her heart said that he would never lay a finger on her to hurt her, but her mind battled it by saying that he would never know if he had.
It was so confusing, and his distant silence wasn’t helping. It made her feel cold to be next to him but so far apart at the same time. She wanted to be on good terms with him again. She wanted him to act as though this had never happened so she could pretend it never had.
But then, he had been gentle with her in the cave. He had chased her fears away, making her believe with nothing more than a light touch that he would never hurt her. He had cleaned her wounds, sealed them, and she’d felt as though he had been conscious of the fact that no man had touched her like that before. She had felt the tenderness in the soft caress of his tongue and seen the hint of affection in his eyes. She had sensed the hunger in him. It had spoken to her as clearly as her own.
He’d wanted her, just as she’d wanted him.
But they’d both maintained control—her because she was afraid it would only confuse her feelings further, and him for reasons unknown.
Maybe he was trying to show her that she was safe with him, that he would never hurt her or do anything to her that she didn’t instigate.
They stepped out from the forest and onto one of the wider tracks. She turned and saw the fort in the distance, its warm lights calling to her with promises of hot baths and comfort.
But who could she talk to about the riot inside her head?
The one person she wanted to speak to about it was the one person she couldn’t—Corazon.
There was no one else at the fort that she was close enough to to talk about such things, and she had promised Corazon that she wouldn’t tell anyone what had happened. She had to speak with someone though. She needed to clear her head and get a second opinion on her feelings.
Aradne had always been a good friend, but they had never been close enough to talk about such intimate things. Everyone knew that Aradne and Milton were together, but Aradne never spoke of it to her when they were enjoying some time off duty.
No, she couldn’t tell anyone of her feelings for Corazon and her suspicion that he had feelings for her.
They reached the gate and Corazon knocked. The heavy sound echoed in her mind as she stared blankly at the massive wooden gate, not seeing it.
The doors swung open and there was a rush of people as Corazon entered. They flitted about him, asking questions and all saying how reassured they were to see he was fine. No one bothered her. She stood outside the circle of soldiers and waited, but not one person looked in her direction.
Heaving a sigh, she trudged around the people and walked towards her quarters.
She didn’t need anyone’s attention and it didn’t matter that no one had been worried about her.
She was perfectly fine with it.
All she wanted was some peace and quiet anyway and all that fuss would have only annoyed her.
Still, it would have been nice if someone had noticed that she was missing too.
“Corporal Scarlet.” Corazon’s voice rang clearly across the courtyard.
The murmur died down into silence and she could feel everyone watching her now.
She turned and saluted him, holding back the wince when her shoulder hurt. “Yes, Captain Corazon?”
“My quarters,” he said and was walking towards them before she could blink and take in his words.
His quarters.
Her stomach turned and she followed him, not wanting everyone to see how nervous he had made her with that order.
The door was open when she reached the small building. She stepped inside and closed it behind her. Corazon was rifling through the stack of papers on his desk.
“Sit,” he said without looking at her.
She took the seat opposite him and the desk.
He didn’t say anything as he sorted the papers into two piles. She could see a lot of them were unopened and looked like letters. As the commanding captain of the fourth garrison, he always had a lot of mail coming and going. She suspected that most of them were reports from the other garrisons, or orders from the generals.
When he was done, he looked at her, right into her eyes.
“I don’t want you to take part in this mission,” he said.
Her stomach dropped along with her jaw. Her first instinct was to pout and ask why, and then shout at him until he backed down. She gathered her scattered emotions and remained calm.
“Can I ask why not, sir?”
He nodded.
“Because I cannot risk it happening again.”
It made sense, but there was no way she was going to be excluded from an important battle because he was scared that she would be injured again and he would lose control. If she accepted that, it was only a little push from there to him saying she couldn’t man the walls.
“I can’t accept that order, sir.”
He raised an eyebrow.
“Can I ask why not, Corporal?” He echoed her question.
“Because I am willing to risk it happening again.”
“Why?” He stood and began to remove his top.
The sight of him walking around without a top on made her blood burn, but she kept a level head and thought about his question. She had to answer without sounding as though she was in love with him.
“I can’t see why I should be excluded from a battle that I could be useful in. I’m one of the best archers you have. As an archer, I’m likely to be removed from the battle and at a distance. It is unlikely that I will be involved in hand to hand combat and therefore unlikely that I will get injured again.” She smiled inside, pleased with her answer and ready to see how he was going to work around it and find a way to still keep her here while they went out to attack the humans’ fort.
He slipped into a fresh shirt and buttoned it with a thoughtful expression on his face. She could see in his eyes that he was trying to find a good reason to keep her here. It was one thing protecting her. It was completely another to smother her and lock her away from the world.
“I—”
She stood sharply and cut him off. “Please, Captain Corazon, don’t shut me in this place and stop me from doing my duties as a Corporal.”
He looked shocked by her outburst, but it didn’t stop her. Adrenaline fuelled her to speak, and not stop until he had said that he would let her go with him into battle.
“Please?” Scarlet walked across the room, right up to him, and looked deep into his eyes. They were dark, but she could see a flicker of light in them, and she knew that if she kept pressing him, he would relent. “I will be useful to you in the fight. I can lead the archers.”
He opened his mouth to speak and panic clenched her gut.
She grabbed his arm, her brows furrowing as she held it tight.
“Please, don’t shut me away, Corazon. I want to go with you!” She snapped her mouth closed and covered it with her free hand. Releasing his arm, she stared at him with wide eyes and wished with all her aching heart that she could look away from him. She backed towards the door. Her throat was so tight with her emotions that she could barely speak. It came out as a hoarse whisper. “I’m sorry, sir. Forgive my impertinence.”
He just looked at her, the stunned expression not shifting from his face. She was torn between waiting to hear him speak, and leaving while she had the chance.
She took another step back.
What had she been thinking?
To grab him like that, to treat him as though she was his equal and not his subordinate, she must have been out of her mind.
“I’m sorry,” she said and turned to leave.
“Corporal Scarlet,” he said and again she paused at his door.
She turned back to face him.
“It was wrong of me to attempt to exclude you from a mission you clearly hold quite dear to your heart. I did it for selfish reasons and not as your captain.” He stepped towards the desk and leaned his backside against it.
Not as her captain? Who had he been when he’d ordered her to remain at the fort? A man scared of losing control and hurting her? A friend?
A lover?
She scoffed at that last one, but as she looked into his eyes, she felt it could be true. There was a sense of defeat about him, and his eyes spoke to her of worry.
He had been trying to protect her as much as protecting himself. Without her at the battle, he wouldn’t lose control. That was what he was saying. He had told her in the cave that he thought the trigger had been her being female and attacked in a similar way to his dead love.
But the look he was giving her, and his words now, made her see that her being female wasn’t the trigger.
It was just her.
If he was worried about it happening again, he would have told her that all women were being excluded from this mission.
She looked at him, studying his reaction to what she was about to say.
“Are you excluding all female soldiers or am I to believe I am being singled out?”
His eyes widened the slightest amount, enough to confirm her suspicions regardless of what his answer was going to be.
“I would exclude all,” he said.
Liar.
It was her. She was the trigger. He had seen her hurt and had lost control.
Her heart clenched at that thought.
Did he truly care for her?
Did he love her as he’d loved the one he had lost?
“Am I again a part of this mission?” Scarlet said, keeping her voice steady as she fought the thoughts crowding her mind and the feelings sweeping through her.
She couldn’t let herself get carried away. He may care for her, but to presume that he loved her was going too far and setting herself up for a fall that she didn’t want to take.
“You are,” he said and pushed away from his desk. He walked towards her and the look in his eyes melted to reveal concern.
He had changed so much recently, opening himself up to her so fast that her head spun when she thought about how much feeling he had shown towards her over the past few weeks.
She tensed when the flat of his hand pressed against her stomach and slid between the fastenings of her tunic and into her top. She swallowed hard, rigid as a post and fighting the temptation to close her eyes as his fingers caressed her stomach. There was such fire in his eyes as he looked at her.
“Are you healing?” he said in a low, intimate whisper that tugged at her heartstrings.
She nodded dumbly.
When his fingers left her, she wished that she had lied and said she didn’t think she was. She wondered what he would have done if she had. Would he have cleaned her wounds again or would he have sent her to sick bay?
“You are off duty tonight. I will need a report from you to file... I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention...” He tailed off and she nodded, knowing what he was asking.
She would never tell a soul about what had happened in the woods.
She wouldn’t risk his career by making him look unstable.
“Get some rest,” he said and she was surprised when he brushed his fingers across her cheek. “And get some blood in you. You are too pale.”
Scarlet closed her eyes when his fingers trailed off her, catching her lower lip and sending a sweep of tingles racing through her.
Reopening them, she stared ahead of her as he moved past her and she heard the door open.
She had been confused enough before, but now she didn’t know what to think. She glanced at Corazon as she left. There was a flicker of a smile on his lips and her heart melted to see it.
He’d smiled at her.
She drifted back to her quarters, oblivious of the world as she replayed the tilt of his lips as he smiled and the tenderness in his eyes.
He was changing.
He was becoming more like a friend every day.
She glanced back over her shoulder to see he was standing in the doorway watching her.
No, not a friend. He was becoming more than that, and deep in her heart she knew she wasn’t imagining those feelings she saw whenever she looked into his beautiful eyes. He felt something for her, something more than friendship.
Her heart said that his duty as her captain would hold him back and stop him from taking the step to become her lover.
She cursed it and told herself that she would do everything in her power to make him see that he could be her lover and her captain at the same time.
“Scarlet,” Aradne said close by, making her jump.
“Aradne?” she said and was stunned when Aradne threw her arms around her and held her tight.
“We were so worried about you... but we knew you were with Captain Corazon so were bound to be safe somewhere.”
Scarlet smiled when Aradne released her and she saw in her eyes that she was telling the truth. There was still worry in them.
“When the lieutenants came back without you two, everyone panicked.”
“I’m sure they were panicked about Corazon and not me.”
“Corazon?” Aradne said with a questioning air and slightly shocked look.
“I meant to say Captain Corazon,” she quickly said, but Aradne laughed.
“No, it’s fine... I’ve just always thought of him as a captain, not a man. It seemed strange to hear just his name.” Aradne laughed again. “That probably makes me sound crazy.”
Scarlet looked at her and then back in the direction of Corazon’s quarters.
“Not at all,” she said in a distant voice.
When she looked back at Aradne, there was something else in her eyes. It looked like surprise, but more so.
“You’re spending a lot of time with him recently,” Aradne said cautiously.
She frowned. “I suppose I am.”
“And I’ve seen the way he watches you.”
“Whatever do you mean?” Scarlet’s chest tightened and she blinked fast, flustered by Aradne’s words.
“Nothing... forget it.”
She didn’t think she could. Corazon watched her, more than she already knew he did? She wanted to make Aradne tell her, but she was afraid that it would give away her feelings for their captain. Instead, she started towards their quarters.
“Did you hear that the captains are going away?”
Scarlet stopped dead. “What?”
Aradne turned to face her. “General Violet and General Constantine have called all available captains to the second garrison.”
“But Captain Corazon won’t be going. As commanding officer of this fort, he’ll need to remain here, no?” She cursed the tremble in her voice as her feelings got the better of her. Captain Corazon wouldn’t go anywhere. There was nothing for her to worry about.
“Oh... Captain Daliel is being left in command. I think he and General Violet were an item and this is some strange form of punishment for betraying her.”
Scarlet felt cold. It started deep in her chest and slowly spread through her, filling her with emptiness as one thought echoed around her mind.
Captain Corazon was leaving her.
“How long are they expected to be gone?” she said, staring into the distance and unable to blink.
“Most likely it’ll be weeks.” Aradne didn’t seem to notice her change in behaviour. She still had a laugh in her voice. “But it’ll be funny to be left with Captain Daliel in command. He’s been flirting with every woman here. Without the other captains around, we can run amuck and treat it like time off. General Violet wouldn’t believe a word he’d say against us. We wouldn’t be punished.”
“But Lieutenant Troy will still be here.”
Aradne’s face finally fell. “Spoilsport. I’d forgotten about him. Oh well, I’m sure we could still get back at Captain Daliel somehow.”
Scarlet frowned and stared hard at the assembly room.
“Aradne?”
“Hmm?”
She tried to hold the tears back so Aradne wouldn’t see them and realise that something was wrong.
“When is capt—when are the captains leaving?”
Aradne looked at her blankly.
“Tomorrow.”
Leave a Comment